Saturday 21/08/10

My nose is congested and my neck is faint.
My back is screaming and my hair is ‘mess’.
My eyes are swollen and my jeans are dirty.
My nails are chipped and the polish has vanished.
My glass is empty and my brain is too.
My taste is stale and my mind lingers back,
back to the point where my body was fresh.
My eyes were white, my hair was back.
My nails were polished.
My jeans were black and knickers were clean,
My back was young and so was my tongue.
The night is over but the details remain the same,
My glass can be refilled to forget all the pain.

Louise-Saturday pessimism.

18 days.. alive and kicking.

Things I have discovered in the time I have left home.

Week one. I’m a nervous eater. enough said!
Week two. I failed making pizza dough and ended up eating two packets of banana chips and drinking 4 L of orange. Getting better I would say.

I enjoy living alone so much I forget how to close doors. E.g while I’m in the bathroom. Having a housemate move in now really defeats this new found skill.
I always blamed my mother for us never having any hairspray, sorry mum it was usually me that used it, and now I know.
Taking the rubbish out once every week is not good. Because that weird smell when I walk in the house is not just the ‘house smell’ it’s the left over’s in the bin having a party.
There is no point having a shower if u don’t have a clean towel to dry yourself with. Defeats the purpose again of being clean. This also applies for socks.
Wearing underwear in a foreign country is usually a must. (This has a back story, but will be kept inside me…forever)

Not shaving your legs for 3 weeks is totally fine!
(This somewhat refers to the underwear story… but not as bad as you think)

Buying the cheapest beer at the supermarket, does not make you cheap, it makes you a smart shopper. Thank you mother!
I have learnt the fine art of eating everything off the chopping board that I prepared it on. Skill-a-mastered!
Calling your mum at any time of the day to ask about random little things like freezing meat, is ok. Not only does she get to still have an opinion on what I do, but she feels comfortable when she knows I’m eating healthy.
By asking her these questions I have less chance of poisoning myself, something I can definitely see happening in the future.
Talking to foreign men about all of the above things does not make you a sexy!

And those are the lessons I have learnt.

Louise-still in one piece.

differences.

Heartbroken and rejected?

The difference between the two. An observation I made from someone I met.

When you are rejected you take it personally and become mad at the fact you have no side or opinion (unless it’s a angry spite -ridden one).
Rejection is a state of mind.

Heartbroken is an emotion. A concept that someone has broken your heart and hurt your feelings. Told you that everyone falls in love, and that everyone lets it pass. Dismissal of your feelings, that is a broken heart. You are not special!

There is no way that they both go hand in hand.
Never will I ever confuse rejection with a deflated heart.

Change is healthy.

change 1*

In a whole book, there are usually only one or two lines that shape your view of that book.
When you meet someone and you go through hours/weeks/months of spending time with them, it can usually just be one tiny thing they say to change your perception of them.
This can happen for both good and bad.
Sometimes I stroll through life meeting people and rolling around in time, laughing and joking and creating images in mind, but then there are times when you stop and become shocked.
Shocked by the words that have fallen from their mouth.
I heard this statement today from a boy, who would consider himself a ‘man’,
“Walk through life blind, because listening is the most important skill one could ever acquire”
I giggled at first, wondering ‘how will I ever check out the abundance of talent that strolls past me in Aarhus?’
After I composed my illicit mind, and myself, I started to believe the statement.
Here are my reasons why.
Did u know you can feel a smile? Not just see it, but feel it. I believe in good karma and auras, but I know both can change rapidly, so being able to feel the change and the good nature of something is important.
If you walk through life blind, you don’t necessarily get to decide what battles you fight. Sometimes there gets to a point where you run into all of them.
Every. Single. One!
The point of the statement is, instead of taking everything you see on face value, you should listen. Listen to the people around you, 9 times out of 10, it may as well be rubbish that we talk about, but sometimes, someone that you have known for years or days, might just surprise you.

Any thoughts on this topic, besides the fact you can trip over if you walk around blind?

loosing.

Some said it wouldn’t work I guess they were right.
Don’t you hate it when people tell you that you will never make the swim team, you are positively psyched to prove them wrong, and then you actually dont make it.
You feel like a twat (new word I picked up from English exchange student) because you honestly thought and believed it would work.
Maybe you should have listened to them, but then maybe you are stronger from having lost.
It’s hard to know when to give up.
My mum taught me to never give up, try a different approach, but never give up.
Maybe I am weak and I just follow something I think I will succeed at, and when I don’t its because I have overshot my range?
Well let me tell you, I’m not being a sad sack, I am just analysing life’s little mysteries, something we all think about, I just happen to write.
I have learnt a lesson today, once someone says you have lost, you give up, you walk away and you don’t turn back.
I hope I don’t regret not turning back, because it sure as hell feels like I will.
Tomorrow is a fresh start, plus I found a great little shop that sells the best cakes, so if not, I at least have cake!

Louise-incoherent and intense….

communication...

Facebook is excellent. To be able to converse with people that are on the other side of the world without costing a cent is unbelievable. And then you have skype. My mums guide to happiness! She can see me and talk to me and it doesn’t feel like I am worlds away.
But there is always a problem when more technology is involved. I lack the ability to read people over a simple message.
I would say, personally, I speak and interact on the same level I would if I was talking in person.
If I laugh, I write hehehe, if I smile at the statement, I put a smiley face, and I always speak what is on my mind, because expressions are not possible.
But for others this is hard. They twist words, they ignore or they are manipulative in speech.
But I am not writing this to be down upon technology, I couldn’t be happier with it at the moment.
It was filling a void that I longed to hate, but now it is filling a space which I didn’t see coming.
Being in a new country, new town, new lifestyle it is hard meeting people, but I simply added a Facebook group (and cried out for help) and people emailed me and responded with open arms.
It has made me feel less afraid of this new place and open to communication through Facebook, which I would usually have turned my nose up.
I think the lesson I learnt from this, (a lesson is always learnt, even without knowing), is that things can change and life still moves on, no one is going to hold my hand anymore, so I have to change perspectives and venture into unknown territory, but the reward could be unexpected.
Now… if my backpack arrived and I didn’t have to go into town with curly/frizzy hair I would be a much happier girl.

Louise- inspired.
“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”
Dr Suess.

what i have learnt...

First couple of days in Denmark.
What i have learnt so far….
1. Lost my backpack, well not me, but the airline did.
2. Joking about losing your backpack before you leave Australia and then actually losing it, isn’t funny, its just sad.
3. Being alone and not having people to talk to, can make you a tiny bit crazy
4. Carrying a spare change of undies was hands down the best thing my mother ever taught me.
5. Second best thing she taught me was to not be ignorant, something I am thank you for. It is hard to be alone in a new country by yourself and with no real connection to your new surroundings, but being ignorant would only hinder my experience even more.
6.Brown water out of the tap tastes disgusting
7. Meeting your neighbours (guy is huge and wife is tiny and lovely) is always good… Hearing them argue from your apartment and realising they have a two year old… not so good
8. Groceries are cheap- good thing for the over eater I will become
9. Fur on your teeth from lose of toothbrush is disgusting
10. Buy a bike because its fun and really good-looking people ride around on them… just note to self. Do not fall off!
Louise-adventurous and proud!